I’m heartbroken about Kobe Bryant—and I didn’t even like him

Jan. 29, 2020

I was never a Kobe guy.

I was a Philly guy, an Iverson guy and, if I had to pick from among the Lakers' 2 titans, a Shaq guy, equally well.

This column is near how Kobe won me over, in spite of all that—and it'south about why many people similar me, who never joined the Team Kobe bandwagon, still felt gut-punched by the bad news that arrived at our doorsteps on Sunday.

It'southward one of the most shocking tragedies the sports world has experienced.

Nine people died in that helicopter crash. One of them stood amidst the greatest players to ever don an NBA bailiwick of jersey, only more than that, he was ane of the about magnetic, influential and polarizing superstars the game has ever seen.

And for every bit many people who loved him, there were plenty who didn't. Like me.

My negative feelings about Kobe, early in his career, weren't just, "Oh, he plays for the Lakers, so I detest him." The differences were philosophical: He seemed like a beyond-cocky, me-me-me histrion.(Going back to the time when he announced, in 1996, that he'd be going directly from Lower Merion Loftier School to the NBA, and he staged a theatrical production in the school gym: "I've decided to have my talent to the NBA," he said, wearing sunglasses indoors.)

As the years went on, I blamed him for not putting his ego aside to benefit his squad. "If he'd been okay with playing 2d-fiddle to Shaq, that team could accept won vi titles in a row," was my mutual refrain to friends.

If the Sixers had drafted Kobe instead of Allen Iverson, things between us probably would have been different. He would have been the local boy who became a legend for his hometown team, and I would have loved him in spite of his brashness—equally I certainly did with Iverson.

But Kobe went to the Lakers, and although everyone knew he came from Philly, one time he was out west, he always felt like an L.A. guy.

I remember the local fans booing him during the 2002 All-Star Game in Philadelphia, and feeling like he deserved it. (The irony is not lost on me that I'm writing these words from an 50.A. apartment, some xx miles from the site of the helicopter crash.)

In the second phase of his career, Kobe became a better teammate, a better leader. He championed women'due south athletics in ways that few male person athletes take. He decided to become a filmmaker, won an Oscar. And he devoted himself to his family with the level of intense passion and focus he brought to everything in his life.

Early on, Kobe struck me as an example of the kind of person who simply cared nearly himself and most winning, regardless of the collateral harm his mentality inflicted upon others. And when the news of the rape instance against Kobe first came out, this fit the narrative perfectly.

That case is the elephant in the room behind all the coverage this tragedy is receiving, and that'due south almost unavoidable. Information technology was a major chapter of Kobe's life, and of the life of the immature woman to whom Kobe eventually apologized afterwards a long and very public legal ordeal.

It's not an piece of cake subject area to bring up, especially not now. However, to publish a story about Kobe's life without mentioning the rape case would be like telling the story of Joe Paterno'south life without Jerry Sandusky, Pete Rose'due south life without gambling, Tiger Woods' life without the adulterous scandal or Michael Vick's life without dogfighting.

For those of u.s.a. quondam enough to call back the Kobe case, information technology was a huge bargain—an outcome that gained widespread media attention for months on end. This was years earlier #MeToo, and in those days it was not a normal affair for one of the world's biggest stars to get arrested and charged with rape in the heart of an NBA season.

Information technology'southward understandable why, for many people and especially for those who have had their own experiences with sexual assault, information technology must be difficult to see Kobe being celebrated right now, because that case was always in the back of their minds when they saw him on Goggle box or heard his proper name mentioned.

Re-reading the background details of the instance, there are valid reasons—including the firsthand accounts and the initial testify of the case—why people are unwilling to sweep the allegations under the carpeting.

That being said, nosotros live in a country where a person is presumed innocent until proven guilty, and in the eyes of the police force, Kobe Bryant was innocent of the crimes charged against him.

To publish a story about Kobe'southward life without mentioning the rape case would be similar telling the story of Joe Paterno's life without Jerry Sandusky, Pete Rose's life without gambling, Tiger Woods' life without the cheating scandal, or Michael Vick's life without dogfighting.

Unlike the examples of Paterno, Rose, Woods and Vick mentioned above, Kobe'southward wrongdoing in his situation was a matter of interpretation, not of established fact.

For these reasons, it is likewise understandable why and so many people were outraged when reporters mentioned the sexual assault case within hours of Kobe's passing: This human, honey by many, had been charged with an incredibly serious offense, was arrested and publicly shamed, and went through the criminal judicial process in accordance with our nation's bedrock legal principles.

To now raise the specter of the accusations, which were never proven in court, must seem to many people like a special kind of speaking ill of the expressionless (which is already a sensitive subject).

Whether y'all feel he deserved information technology or not, Kobe Bryant was given a second chance in life.

A second chance to rebuild his paradigm, to go a better married man and begetter, and to grow as a human being. And by all accounts, he made the most of that second take chances.

The Kobe who emerged from that time period—when he was involved not only in legal turmoil, but besides in the aging of the Shaq-Kobe-Phil triumvirate in L.A.—was a different man than the one whom I disliked early in his career.

In this second stage of his career (and, sadly, the second one-half of his life), Kobe showed a maturation and sense of community responsibility that wasn't there before. To exist sure, he nevertheless cared as much as ever about winning, but as he got older he finally seemed to care about other people as well.

Fifty-fifty then, I was nevertheless not a "Kobe guy," but he had earned my respect equally someone who, when given an opportunity to modify his life for the better, did exactly that.

I like to believe that people can redeem themselves, and from my vantage point Kobe had humbled and transformed himself into an NBA elder statesman, loving father and positive correspondent to society.

He became a ameliorate teammate, a better leader. He recovered from multiple injuries with the trademark work ethic that fabricated him an inspiration to millions of athletes, and to his peers.

He championed women'due south athletics in ways that few male athletes take. He decided to become a filmmaker, won an Oscar. And he devoted himself to his family with the level of intense passion and focus he brought to everything in his life.

I wasn't the only one whose heed Kobe inverse during these years.

When he played his terminal game equally a Laker in Philadelphia, he received a warm ovation—a stark dissimilarity to the boos that serenaded him during that All-Star Game and then many years prior.

And when he retired, he received heartfelt farewells from scores of players, young and old, who appreciated the mark he had left on basketball and on their lives.

He had come full circle, leaving the game not every bit a teenage phenom with a caput total of his ain invincibility, but as a grizzled veteran appreciative of his journey and the blessings in his life.

Which brings us to Dominicus.

I was at brunch with a grouping of friends, getting set up to leave, when 1 from our group looked at his phone and bankrupt the news: Kobe Bryant was dead.

The initial rumors we heard were that all of his daughters and Rick Fox might have been with him also. The fact that this wasn't the case didn't make us feel whatsoever better: Kobe's death was real, his daughter Gigi was with him, and we were waiting with already pained hearts to detect out who else was in that Skikorsky Due south-76 helicopter.

It was surreal, driving home through the same fog that plagued that chopper's flight. When I got back I called my friends, chosen my parents. I watched coverage on ESPN, read articles online and followed social media. When nosotros finally learned all the details, it was devastating.

John, Keri and Alyssa Altobelli. Christina Mauser. Sarah and Payton Chester. Ara Zobayan. Gianna Bryant. Those were the eight people with Kobe on that flight, most all of them connected to the sports globe in some way.

In the days since, what's been getting to me the most is that these were families.

The Altobelli family of 5 has been reduced to two orphaned children who lost their father, mother and sister all on the aforementioned twenty-four hours.

The Mauser family of five lost their 38-year-old mom and wife.

The Chester family unit of five lost their mother, wife, girl and sister.

The Bryant family of half dozen lost a father, husband, girl and sister.

I'm non finding reports on the family of airplane pilot Are Zobayan, but these weren't just families on board. These were customs members, of which Zobayan sounds like a shining example, and the ripple effects they would have had on the lives of others is staggering to consider.

These were coaches, the kinds of people who devote their fourth dimension and energy as adults to shaping the next generation. These were children—teenagers, technically—full of energy, promise and talent.

Riding dwelling, I listened to "American Pie," Don McLean's 1971 hit that references "the day the music died," the 1959 airplane crash in which Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and The Big Bopper perished. A song that seemed all too plumbing fixtures.

Reflecting more, it occurred to me that never in American sports history has such a giant star perished in such a shocking and untimely style. Other deaths of like magnitude include Roberto Clemente, Dale Earnhardt, Steve Prefontaine, Roy Halladay, Thurman Munson, Len Bias, Flo-Jo, Hank Gathers and others. Merely none of those athletes was Kobe.

I volition always recollect where I was the solar day Kobe Bryant died. My gauge is, and then will yous.

At 41, he nevertheless had decades of life ahead of him, and he clearly was not planning on spending them idly. He seemed hell-bent (his default setting) on using his platform and abilities to inspire future generations, and to leave a legacy off the courtroom that could someday compare to his on-court accomplishments.

Regardless of my past feelings virtually Kobe as a person and thespian, and even regardless of his perceived graphic symbol flaws and alleged misdeeds, the hurting and loss that millions are feeling right now is entirely appropriate.

Kobe meant something to people. His piece of work ethic, his relentlessness, his unceasing motivation to exist bully—these qualities fabricated him an example that others could look to in times of dubiousness and arduousness.

Was he a saint? As a man, probably not. Every bit a basketball role player, an instance of greatness and a case study on the claim of difficult work? Beyond any dubiety.

Kobe was clearly improving. Look at the people surrounding him in his final moments: Community leaders, loving parents, caring humans. Kobe had get one of them. He had earned that accolade—to be known as a dad, a coach, a valued member of guild.

And as a homo, he was clearly improving. Look at the people surrounding him in his final moments: Community leaders, loving parents, caring humans.

Kobe had go ane of them. He had earned that honor—to be known as a dad, a coach, a valued member of society.

I was never a Kobe guy, simply every time I think virtually him now, I'g filled with sadness. His decease—and the deaths of his girl and the 7 other sparks of humanity aboard that flight—is one of the most heartbreaking sports stories we've e'er seen.

When Kobe Bryant is inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame later this twelvemonth, what should take been a joyous moment with Kobe, Shaq, MJ, AI and all the greats jubilant will instead be a somber occasion, marked by the absenteeism of i of the almost transcendent, enigmatic and driven athletes e'er to put on a uniform.

When the Hall of Fame calls Kobe'southward numbers, there probable won't be a dry center in the house.

I'll be crying, too.

A Philadelphia native, Sam Rosenthal has written about sports, politics, travel and life for a variety of publications. He currently is a Content Strategist for Clio, and is submitting his debut novel for publication. Follow him at @SamRoseWrites.

Header photograph courtesy Alexandra Walt / Flickr

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Source: https://thephiladelphiacitizen.org/heartbroken-about-kobe-bryant-didnt-even-like-him/

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